Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sometimes mommy guilt hits me hard
My kids work very hard they help to care for our home they help with animals both 2 legged and 4 legged they help out with the gardening and cooking and every other task that needs to be done in this house
So why do I feel mommy guilt? sounds like I am doing my job to give my kids balance and structure and to let them know that they are not the center of the world and that they can learn to entertain themselves instead of BE entertained
(hence the movies and the cartoons they create and the books they are working on)
So why the guilt
it comes on strong when we are involved at the school or functions where other kids are
We do not have a whole lot of a whole lot of anything (except clutter and junk) So when other kids can get things because they are able to (not that there is anything wrong with that their parents are being good parents giving their children something they would like) I wish I could give it to my kids
My boys were just involved in a nice little production at the school. A really cool little theater camp that I hope the school brings back every year. It is a great program where this company comes in works with the kids for a week, and at the end of the week they put on a little show. Lots of fun for the kids and gives them something cool to work on for a week.
At the end of the show they sell T shirts $15.00 EACH
now $15.00 is not that big of a deal I mean it is something special
but when $15.00 each comes the same week I have to pay the electric bill and that $15.00 is multiplied by 3 that is $45.00 and when it comes the same pay period that we had some oppsies with the checking account and it comes when we had the "big" shopping week for groceries (we were out of EVERYTHING this week it seemed)
then that $45.00 seems like a really BIG DEAL
Now I know all about things like budgeting and being careful with money and living without etc.. So you would think that by now at MY age things would be a little more secure around here.
Well of course they are NOT why would life be that easy
One mistake can lead to a landslide effect that can take months to correct
and then something else will happen that makes me feel better
Yesterday I went grocery shopping and aside from spending more than the normal amount. I took my oldest with me because he had his birthday money burning a hole in his pocket.
He wanted a phone. He has been saving his babysitting money, and money from mowing a friends lawn and his birthday cash and he had enough. So he bought himself a track phone (I am probably spelling that wrong too)
So why does my boy wanting something and then buying it make me feel better?
well that $20.00 phone has made him so happy he has it in his pocket the first numbers he added to his address book are our home phone number and his Dad's cell phone (no I don't have a cell phone) He says this is great MOM now when I am stranded at school cause I miss the bus I don't have to run to the school office before it closes
and if practice lets out early I can call you
and I can text my cousin
It is things like that those little events make me feel better.
I also got a great e-mail from a friend (Hello professor!) You see the professor offered me an opportunity to invest in making my little blog into a web site however this of course costs money and ..well it costs more money than I can justify spending even if the opportunity will make money (no guarantees on that like any business venture there are no guarantees)
So I told him in an e-mail that I cannot do this right now ...even though I envision this fabulous family friendly user friendly site that has everything from e stories for kiddos and games similar to Energy Hogs to tool advice to gardening to ...well geez how about videos on basic sewing for those who can't sew but really want to!
SO you can see I do know how to dream big but ..well my brain and imagination are larger than my pocketbook ...for now
part of being able to survive struggles and hardship is to have hope and to try not to let the other fluff and stuff get in the way.
Some things are out of our control I can't change gas prices
I can't change that food prices have skyrockets
I can't change how much money we make or our bills (within reason)
I can control how much we buy
I can control how we use energy(again within reason)
and I can control how I think about things
if I sat around obsessing over the "bad" things in our lives I would be such a depressed mess I would be institutionalised and on heavy medication
if I look at the things in our lives that are good the things that WE work to change that WE do to make our lives better